Anger Awareness

by: Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach~



"And don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives foothold to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27


Did you know that anger is mentioned in the bible over five hundred times? The first time we see anger is in Genesis, when we see a brother kill his own brother over jealousy, which turned to anger and finally to sin. The emotion of anger has been running rampant ever since. We pick it up in Genesis 4:6, God says, "Why are you so angry? The Lord asked Cain, why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master."


I have personally struggled with an explosive temper most of my life and usually this God-given emotion was hidden deep by the power of alcohol. It was during moments of intoxication when it was most likely to rear its ugly head. It was during these moments when I would allow my anger to turn to sin not really caring about the damage I was causing my loved ones. I have been clean for a while now, yet the emotions, especially anger, still get the best of me. Alcohol became such a part of who I was, almost like an extra appendage that I relied on in order to function. The only emotion I felt was towards alcohol, angry desperation if I didn't have it and overwhelming depression when I woke up the next morning in a somewhat inebriated fog knowing I had to face work and life that day. The cycle continued daily and the fog never lifted. I was emotionally unavailable to my family and I lacked in leadership at work. I hung on by the thread that was holding my life together, barely. Anger is definitely a God-given emotion that if taken too far will hurt everyone in its path. You probably have heard someone say, ‘anger is not the problem it's how you react to it.' If you have ever been in a recovery meeting then you may also have heard, ‘resentment is the number one offender of relapse.' Resentment is anger that has turned sour by something or someone. We have allowed it to rot in our mind and it has spoiled an emotion that was meant to protect us.


I remember one night in a small group bible study when the subject of anger came up and I explained that I was a hot head sometimes. This guy started talking about anger, and was looking right at me. No, he was preaching at me, and I didn't like it. He was babbling on about some guys in the bible, but my anger and pride in that moment was blocking me from hearing the message that God may possibly have been trying to share with me. I had emotionally shut down and went home ticked off at this guy. Who was this guy anyway and what gives him the right to preach at me? I came home and complained to my wife about the night. I said, "What the heck is he talking about, Sons of Thunder, sailors, and Jesus?" She said, "I'm not sure, but it was meant for your ears."


A few days later I began an in-depth study on anger, I dived into Gods Word, reading as many scripture verses I could find. I also bought the Anger Workbook and started going through that as well. I came to a profile page in the Life Recovery Bible and read this;

James & John

"Sons of Thunder: Why would Jesus use such a powerful description for two Galilean fisherman, James & John? We are given a glimpse of their fiery personalities when, after they were rejected by the people of a Samaritan village, James & John asked Jesus if they should call down fire from heaven to consume the village. Jesus rebuked them for their impulse to retaliate. Jesus worked in these brothers' lives so that they became men known for their love and forgiveness, not their anger and revenge. These brothers had discovered the important truth that when we understand and experience God's love, we are free to live and grow. And as we grow and share our discovery with others, God can use us to touch the lives of many in need of His help and healing." Stephen Arterburn & David Stoop




Wow! God works in amazing ways. I wanted God to work in me like Christ worked in these two sailors. I was a former Marine and I could relate to some salty dogs like James and John. Maybe the Holy Spirit could change me too. I too had been known to want to bring fire down on entire cities with my rage. I realized that God had used the guy from my small group to make me aware of my anger. My wife was right, it was meant for my ears. Now that I was aware, I began to slowly change and I allowed the Holy Spirit to start working in my heart. As I became more aware of my anger, I started journaling my thoughts about it. I talked about it more in small group and have come to love that guy who really wasn't preaching at me, he was really loving me and holding me accountable. But, I still struggled with the whole ‘angry with sin.' What did that really mean anyways? Then it hit me, ‘don't let anger control you.' That was the sin! When I drank alcohol I sinned against everyone, especially God, because I allowed it to control me. Drinking an alcoholic beverage is not a sin, just like the emotion of anger is not a sin. It is how we use, or my case, abuse it that it can become a sin.


Today I get to share my experience with others and work one-on-one with people in this area of Recovery Coaching. I share my experience, my struggles and together we try and understand how to tame the beast through awareness, honesty, renewing of the heart and mind, and by using the QSS method.



"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19



When do you let anger get control of you?




How long does it take to cool off?



Are you being completely honest about what really makes you lose control of my anger?



Do you have someone you can share with about this God-given emotion that you struggle with?



How can you use the QSS method next time you feel this emotion start to come your way?


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Know Your Enemy (The Wolf)

by: Bill A. Gaspard, Recovery Coach

In John 10 Jesus gives us another analogy of the enemy. He discusses the sheep, the shepherd, the gate, and of course the enemy; a wolf who wants to steal kill and destroy. The wolves’ method of operation is to attack and “Scatter the flock.” John 10:12

That is precisely what the enemy wants to do with us, get us separated from the rest of the flock, isolated and alone, so he can have his way with us. He wants to steal our hope, kill our faith and destroy any healthy relationship we may be in the process of starting. He does not want anyone in recovery to join the team, to join the flock, or to have a sponsor or accountability partner. Of course, the wolf wants us as far away from the shepherd as humanly possible, and the wolf is not about to go head to head with the shepherd, because he has already lost that battle. He is after the flock, Gods children and he just wants us off by ourselves when we are vulnerable, tired and weak. Do not go it alone, get into the flock and let the shepherd, God, fight for you. Just like in the movie Gladiator, when Maximus is in the coliseum, he looked to the others and said, “Have any of you been in the military?” Then he said, “We will have a better chance fighting whatever comes out of those gates if we stay together.” Again, DO NOT go it alone and don’t let anyone who walks in the doors of recovery ever believe that they can. The wolf is an expert at separating us from the flock and robbing us of everything we have accomplished in our recovery.


“Stay close to the shepherd, the shepherd’s purpose is to give his sheep a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10


“The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep” 10:11


If you feel like the enemy is isolating you from your family and if you’ve been backing away from the groups or meetings that have helped you stay on track throughout your recovery, then hit your knees right now and pray to the shepherd that He protect you and that He help you safely back to the flock!


Here are some questions for us to find out if we are slowly being scattered.


1. When was the last time you were together with your brothers and sisters in recovery?

2. When was the last time you asked the shepherd to protect you?

3. When was the last time you talked to your sponsor/accountability partner?

4. When was the last time you helped a lost sheep in isolation?



About the author: Chaplain Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the Founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Know Your Enemy (The Lion)

By Chaplain Bill A. Gaspard

“Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

1 Peter 5:8-9

Think about the nature of a lion for a moment. Did you know that it is the lioness that actually does the attacking of prey? What about the male lion? What is his job? You would think that the “king of the jungle” would be in charge of the attack, but actually he is in charge of immobilizing the prey with fear, and all it takes is one loud roar. I have been told that the loud roar of a lion will echo across the Serengeti, and that the herds of antelope or zebra will hear the roar and either run or freeze in fear. This is the goal of the lion, to fill the prey with intense fear which results in confusion, causing the prey to either freeze, allowing the waiting lionesses to easily attack and devour it, or the prey will run away from the sound of the roar directly towards the waiting lionesses. This was the pride’s plan all along, for the prey to run right into their expertly planned trap. Have you ever felt immobilized by fear? Has Satan ever whispered, or in some cases roared in your ears, lies that are so convincing they keep you frozen in fear or cause you to run as far away from what God may be asking you to do? Have you felt that overwhelming confusion that clouds your mind from making even the simplest of decisions? This is Satan’s plan for your life, to keep you rooted in fear and confusion and immobilized from taking action towards thing that would be pleasing to God. Think back to the herd. What if the herd of gazelle or zebra stood firm as a group and ran toward the roar of the lion, towards the cause of their fear? The male lion is a much slower, less effective foe. The odds that the gazelle or zebra could win and get away from the male lion are good, due to their speed and agility, not to mention the fact that together, as a group, they outnumber the lion. The lion would have no choice but to retreat and try again another day, because there will always be another day. How we choose to face the day, the day that the Lord has given us, is really the big question. Do we stay rooted in our fear or do we run towards it, confident that together with Gods’ love and by surrounding ourselves with the right group (or herd) of people, we can conquer even the toughest fears? How can we run towards our fear when it comes to our recovery?

Let’s take a biblical story and put this concept to work. Goliath was a male lion if there ever was one. He roared towards the Israelite army and they ran back to camp. Goliath says, “Am I a dog; he roared at David, that you come at me.” You know the story, picture Goliath roaring and no one has the faith to run towards the roar, instead they run away in fear. Then young David tells Saul not to fear, that God has got this one and that the giant is as good as dead. “As Goliath moved closer to attack, David quickly ran out to meet him. Reached into his shepherds’ bag and taking out a stone, he hurled it with his sling and hit the Philistine in the forehead.” 1 Samuel 18:8-9. David is the epitome of standing strong in one’s faith. Don’t you want some of that, to have enough faith to know that you can run towards the ‘giant’ in your life and conquer it with even the smallest of stones? What does Matthew 17:20 tell us about faith, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Go back to 1 Peter 5:9 and remember how Peter says to fight the lion. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. If the gazelle or zebra runs towards the male lion it gets past and gets away, if it runs in the opposite direction it gets caught. David stood firm and had the faith to run out to this giant ‘lion’ of a man. Satan is responsible for the evil that happens to us in all areas of our lives and in our recovery and he will kick you when you are down. This happens when we allow fear to overcome us, the inadequacies we feel about ourselves to take root, instead of allowing God’s truth to take root and develop us to be all that he designed us to be. We are commanded to be careful and stand firm against the enemy. To fight each day our own personal ‘lion’ and win!! We are not alone; there are others in recovery fighting these same battles. Meeting with them and sharing our defeats and our victories with the lions of the world will not only strengthen our herd, but could help another who may feel stranded and immobilized in fear. This is when we, as fellow fighters in faith, can surround and protect those being attacked with encouragement and hope through Gods’ Word. Just like the hope that David’s story gives us.

About the author: Chaplain Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Breaking the Wild Pony in Your Mind

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” Ephesians 4:31 NLT

Have you ever seen someone trying to break a wild pony? It’s not a simple task. My father-in-law is an avid horseman. He brought home a new unbroken horse, thinking he could easily train the horse and would be riding it in no time at all. Well, two years later he still hasn’t ridden that dang horse! That’s what training our thought life can be like. It can feel like taking on a task way too big for us, but with the right trainer, we can accomplish even the toughest tasks. The problem is, we think we can do it on our own, when what we really need to do is look to the expert. A few verses earlier in Ephesians Paul says, “Throw off your old sinful nature and former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead let the spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God truly righteous and holy.” Ephesians 4:22-24

To throw away old destructive thoughts and renew your thought life is a hard concept to even imagine, let alone do. Grabbing the reigns of our thought life can sometimes feel like grabbing the reigns of a wild pony. The untamed pony needs to be broken of its wild spirit, which requires consistent training by a competent trainer. Our thought life also needs consistent training to break the wild, disobedient sin nature which, if given the chance can take hold and control our minds. God is the ultimate trainer and trains us through His word, His truth. We can fight it like a wild pony if we want to because we have that option, or we can allow the true Horse Whisperer, God, to whisper love and truth into our ears. That sounds like a much more appealing option, doesn’t it? How do we begin to tame the wild pony? We begin with prayer, a daily appointment with our trainer, who will remind us to remain obedient and steadfast in his word. Here are some of the behaviors we need training in:

Bitterness- Comes from an inability to forgive and then letting that hurt turn sour in your heart. This is a heart issue and that’s why it is so important to protect your heart.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23

Evil Behavior- Is learned and can become a part of your belief system. If you believe it, it will become part of your behavior.

“Don’t do as the wicked do, and don’t follow the path of evildoers.” Proverbs 4:14

Rage- A loss of control involving aggression or an act of violence. The only way to get this under control is to completely give up control. We must allow God to grab the reins and steer us in the right direction.

“Don’t even think about it; don’t go that way. Turn away and keep moving.” Proverbs 4:14

Anger- This God given emotion is mentioned over 500 times in the bible, second only to the emotion love. Let God train you up in His love through His word. By doing so, it will transform your thoughts and teach you to overcome the angry thought life you once knew and your mind will be renewed and pure.

“Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.” Proverbs 4:21-22

Slander- This is just straight up, bad mouthing others. It has the potential to affect a person’s life for years to come. Once it comes out of our mouth, you can’t take it back. It reminds me of that old saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

“Avoid all perverse talk, stay away from corrupt speech.” Proverbs 4:24

Harsh Words- Rough and hurtful words towards someone that can stem from unresolved issues or letting pent up anger turn to sin. It can sting like a whip and leave life-long scars.

“Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.” Proverbs 4:25


As we bounce back and forth from Ephesians chapter four and Proverbs chapter four we find many great examples of ways in which we can transform our thought life in ways that would be appealing to God. Let’s finish up with Paul’s conclusion to this great chapter with his thoughts on what acceptable behaviors look like.

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

When we are able to forgive others the way Christ forgave us then it allows our heart to be open to give and receive love. We can’t expect our mind and behaviors to change overnight, just like we can’t expect a wild pony to be broken of its bad behavior. It takes time, dedication, and patience, possibly a life time, but a life well worth living.

About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Volunteer 'Your Story'

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

“In the time we have it is surely our duty to do all the good we can to all the people we can in all the ways that we can.” William Barclay

 

I remember when I was seventeen in Marine Corps boot camp. The drill instructor would always ask for a couple volunteers whenever he needed something done around the barracks. I think my bunk mate told me once, never volunteer for anything unless you want the really bad jobs. They really didn't want volunteers anyways. They always liked to randomly pick out one specific recruit, and one day they said, "Gaspard, get some scrub brushes and pick two other recruits; you guys get to clean the ‘head’ today." If you don’t know what the ‘head’ is, just think about where all of the waste goes from the bodies of 100 Marine recruits. Fast forward twenty plus years and I am supervising a large staff sitting in a department head meeting and I need someone to volunteer for the next big project. Why does it always take a moment for everyone to look around and see who will take this one? It is because we do not like to volunteer for anything and we hate to be forced, so we all hope that the person who normally volunteers every time will do the same this time. I had the person in mind already for this project and she did of course say, I got this one. But why does is it feel like pulling teeth to get someone to volunteer? I believe it is all about heart. The problem is giving of our time and our time is valuable.

 

“For you were called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13

Once you are free from the bondage of an addiction and are in recovery there will come a time when you will be asked to serve and there will come a time when you will volunteer out of love. Paul was trying to make this point to the Galatians and urged them to understand that with freedom comes responsibility to serve others. That responsibility may start off as an order or out of guilt but when it comes from the heart you will begin to open a major door in your life. As Christians we have an obligation to one another that goes beyond volunteering. To serve is to love. If you love, service will be the next logical step. If you are not volunteering to serve then you may need a heart check, because it’s possible that you do not love. While in recovery one of the best places to start is in the home with family.

There is an entire chapter in the ‘Big Book of A.A.’ on working with others. The 1st paragraph in this chapter gives us a since of urgency when it comes to serving others. “Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.”

So, how do we do this intensive work? How do we volunteer to serve others in recovery and within the church? If your house is in order and you have enough love for others to give of your time, then you have to get something ready!

YOUR STORY!

Are you ready to tell your story with anyone at any time? God wants you to share your story and by doing so, he will take you on an amazing journey. If you think that you do not know enough about recovery, or that you are not sure how to give back, then you are mistaken. You are an expert! An expert at "your story," and only you can tell it. You have a Masters degree in life. You went to the school of hard knocks. You need three parts to complete your story and you will need a two to three minute version and a more in depth version.

1st Part

What was your life like during your addiction?

2nd Part

What happened? How did you seek recovery? Breaking Point?

3rd Part

What is your life like today? How has God worked in your life?

Work on it; share it with your sponsor or accountability coach. Get it down to a workable version, practice it and get it ready for the road show. God wants you to share what he did in your life so it will help another. You will have many opportunities to volunteer and serve in many areas someday as your heart opens up to the concept of other people. As you learn about your spiritual gifts and the needs of the church, the community, and those in recovery, you will hone your skills, but today we need you to hone your story and get out there. Here are a couple of prayers that may help when you are ready to serve others out of love.

"God, help me write my story; help me get the thoughts to paper then to speech."

"God, let me know when you are ready for me to tell my story, ask Him to open your heart to a person or group of people who are ready to hear it."

"God, please find a suitable place for me to serve within the church that will bring you glory."

"God, open my heart to the concept of love and service."

Thank God for the people who have and who continue to serve us. Our families, our sponsors, our coaches, our pastors and our new friends in recovery.

About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership

Reconciliation & Making Amends

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

Jesus reveals more to the Old Testament concept of murder by adding “I tell you everyone who is angry with his brother is subject to judgment.” Then says, “So, if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you leave your sacrifice there and be reconciled to that person.” Matthew 5:21-26


Joseph and his brothers shed some light on how we can reconcile on both sides. It is an amazing story and example of reconciliation between brothers and God. You know the story; Joseph had every reason to hold a grudge against his brothers. After burying his father Jacob, his brothers were afraid for their lives, they thought now Joseph would get his revenge. We pick it up in Genesis 50:15 where the brothers sent this message to Joseph. “Before your father died he instructed us to say to you: please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did you, for their sin in treating you so cruel. So we the servants of the God of your father beg you to forgive our sin.” In verse 19 Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good."

They did something right, they planned, they used God’s name and they begged. Begging may sound terrible today, but what the brother’s really meant was that we are your servants and we will do whatever it takes to make it right. Joseph was on the other end of the reconciliation and did the right thing as well. He said who am I to punish you? He said God is judge. Not me. He wasn’t bitter or resentful, he remembered what had happened but realized that it was all used by God for good. This is truly amazing when you think about it, his brothers wanted him dead and instead of killing him they threw him in a well, sold him as a slave and told their father a lie for many many years. I can hold on to a grudge or resentment for weeks even years for all the stuff that happened to me and it took forty years to reconcile with my own mother. Yet Joseph knows what he must do, he has hope and faith in his God.

Christ tells us to be reconciled, before we finish our act of worship. Dr.Jay Adams breaks down reconciliation even more in chapter nine of the Christian Counselors Manual. He writes, “Reconciliation is a change of relationship between God and man; man and man that involves at least three elements.

1) Confession of sin to God and to any others who have been offended.

2) Forgiveness by God and by the one who has been offended.

3) The establishment of a new relationship between the offender and God and the offended party or parties. In reconciliation, enmity and alienation are replaced by peace and fellowship.

Maybe you call it something else, we are talking about making amends and they are crucial to our recovery. So important that Christ says put down your sacrifice now and go be reconciled. I was reading this and hearing this message all the time in my first year of recovery. I was reading a book by Charles Stanley, the local Pastor seemed to be talking about it every week, and in our weekly bible study it seemed to come up just as often. This was serious stuff; this part of obedience was going to take something more than what I had in my toolkit. I needed the Father, the Son and The Holy Spirit in my life. I also needed a Christian Mentor and a 12 step sponsor to make sure I was on the right track. Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop write this about Step 8 in the Life Recovery workbook,

“In our journey through the twelve steps a spiritual awakening forms the purpose of healing our relationships with self, others, and God. To be free of addiction, we must be willing to go to any lengths to achieve this spiritual healing.”

Jesus knew that broken relationships must be mended especially when deep hurts or resentments are involved. If we don’t we will become bitter and will blame for the rest of our lives, this is a weight that must be carried for us, we can’t do it anymore. Remember the prodigal son? What a mess he was. He had no idea that his father was going to forgive him. Jesus knew, and whether or not this was a real story or not Jesus knew that it would be used as a wonderful example for so many different concepts. It is a great example of reconciliation and one of the ways we should attempt reconciliation. In Luke 15:17 it says,

“When he came to his senses, he said to himself, at home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and I am here. I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called you son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”

Wow! He did so many things right, I had heard this story so many times but it never made sense like this. The big thing is he came to his senses, he obviously had enough, and he had a wake-up call. He practiced his speech; he rehearsed it, which means he was thinking about it within. Within you is the Holy Spirit, rehearse it with Him, this type of practice works great. Some people write a letter and read it out loud. Share it with God first then with someone you trust, ask for guidance and you will know when you are ready to make amends. He admitted his worth, he admitted his brokenness. He also begged just like Joseph’s brothers, he asked to be made a hired servant, willing to do anything to make right what was once wrong. When we review the three elements of reconciliation by Dr. Adams with the stories of the Prodigal Son and Joseph and his brothers, we have a good idea of the process needed to accomplish this major step in our recovery. If you are at this point in your recovery then you are ready for some well needed R&R, (reconciliation and restitution.) Making amends and reconciling your past is no easy journey and many people including me will tell you “Don’t go it alone.” You need a sponsor/mentor, a coach, someone who has traveled this road before you and is an experienced guide. Reconciliation is a great biblical principle that requires obedience of the heart and will offer you freedom.


“Making amends is a powerful way of setting things straight, and it leaves others better equipped to do what you asked: forgive you, there is a price to be paid for freedom and it is called restitution.” -Stephen Arterburn & David Stoops, Life Recovery Workbook

So if reconciliation makes the other person just like us, put them on the same page then restitution is the act of making good or compensating for the loss damage or injury we did. Remember back to the biblical examples, Joseph’s brothers and the Prodigal Son both came to make amends and said we are your servants we are here to do whatever we can to make it right. We are different and we are sorry for the hurt we caused you and God. We have been living our amends, we have changed our ways and now we want to make restitution with you. Dr. Adams concludes his chapter on reconciliation with the idea that this is not a faith issue but an obedience issue with this statement. “This then, is how counselors must address the subject to counselees who balk at granting forgiveness. They must not be misled by ideas of lack of faith, supposed feelings of hypocrisy, etc. Instead, like their Lord, they must knife through the all such excuses and incisively lay bare to the root of the problem: disobedience.” The idea of obedience was so important during this process for me in recovery. The people that I did meet in AA that seemed to be doing very well and working with others had found that reconciliation and restitution were found in steps eight and nine. But, that wasn’t enough for me. I heard this message loud and clear and picked up a book by Charles Stanley that began to “rock my world.”

I had to ask myself the question, “Do I want to obey the Word of God or disobey it?” Also during this time in my life a Pastor out of Albuquerque, NM that was talking and his concept was “Yes is the answer! Now what is the question? I have to say I took this literally, I asked God to lead me, to direct my life and I tried every day to say yes to God and sometimes I did not like the questions. And each time the question was about being reconciled to someone the question would come to me. Will you obey God or disobey? If you are truly ready to make right what was once wrong then I applaud you. Because you are living a changed life today, you are not the person you were. The person you were would not take this step, but the person you are today is strong and is ready to step out of faith into obedience and that my friend, will grow your faith to the next level. Pray about this, write your thoughts, and rehearse your speech, read your letter out loud. Share it with God then with a Christian brother or sister that you trust. God is so proud of you for taking this step.

“Start from the point where you know you can begin to make restitution, and God will open doors for you to achieve what he demands you do – be reconciled to others.” – Dr. Charles Stanley


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.


For more information on Recovery Coaching call 505-252-1968 or email me at billa.gaspard@live.com

Sharing Your Faith

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach


One evening, Dwight Moody noticed a man leaning against a lamppost and asked him if he was a Christian. The man snorted back, “Mind your own business!” Moody responded, “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you, but this is my business.”

Is sharing your faith your business?

Wilson, J. L. (2009). Fresh Start Devotionals. Fresno, CA: Willow City Press.


Sharing your faith at work is like sharing the weekend’s blockbuster movie. You just have to let someone know about it. Tell them about the graphics or the highlights or the main character. We are the movie that plays out each and every day in the workplace and whether we like it or not people are watching our movie. I happen to manage a very large golf course and most people don’t come to the club to talk about their faith. They want to golf or play tennis and escape from the world for a moment in a little thing called recreation. I also have 150 co-workers who look to me for so many different reasons. I never try to force anyone to watch my movie or hand out the free DVD. Instead I look for an opportunity during everyday discussions to share that story or movie scene with someone. Recently we were talking about football, a topic that comes up just about every week in every office around the workplace. I shared that I was the newest asst. coach for my son’s team which was very exciting for me. Someone asked for what team. I explained for “Upward”, it is a flag football league at our church. On another occasion a co-worker came in and was talking about the possibility of going through a divorce and I said, “that is tough one to try and go alone,” here is a name and number of someone from our church who works with people who are contemplating divorce and they actually have a high success rate of seeing couples stay together.”

These types of situations play out more and more each day, there is not a week that goes by where the conversation of faith comes up. I wake up each morning and as part of my prayer life I ask God to clear the path and open my heart for an opportunity to share my faith, then I ask for the wisdom and discernment to know the right time and when the right time to change the channel off the topic of faith. I have found that if my ‘movie’ is a good movie people will want to watch, they will be interested in the main parts of my life and they will ask more questions of me which then will open the door to share my faith.

Who is watching your ‘movie’?

Have you missed an opportunity recently to share your faith?

What will your ‘movie’ look like today?


“I thank my God always, remembering you on the occasions of my seasons of prayer, hearing constantly of your love and faith, your faith which you have in the Lord Jesus and the divine and self-sacrificial love which you show towards all the saints, remembering you in my prayer-times, praying that the contribution of your faith, which faith you share in common with other believers, may [through the resultant love which you have for all the saints] become effective in the sphere of a full and perfect experiential knowledge of every good thing in us with a view to [the glory of] Christ.”

Wuest, K. S. (1997). The New Testament : An expanded translation (Phm 4–6). Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans.




About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Effective Prayer in Recovery

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach


Effectively talking with God can seem intimidating to some. It takes heart, obedience and discipline. We are working out a muscle that we haven’t used very often and it will take some time to get it in shape. My favorite definition for the word discipline is “control gained by obedience or training.” We all want to control something, but in prayer the discipline we are talking about is the giving up control to our heavenly father in prayer. It may seem hard to look at prayer as obedience or discipline, but it is necessary. In the book of Luke one of the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray.


“Once, Jesus was in a certain place praying. As he finished, one of his disciples came to him and said, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”

Jesus said, “This is how you should pray:

“Father, may your name be kept holy.


May your Kingdom come soon.


Give us each day the food we need,


and forgive us our sins,


as we forgive those who sin against us.


And don’t let us yield to temptation.” Luke1:1-4

These are the same group of guys who had been hanging out with Jesus for years. These guys probably knew how to pray and were taught by their parents. Yet, they knew that the way Jesus prayed was different and they wanted to learn. I believe Jesus waited for this day; He knew what he would say and knew that this prayer ‘The Lords Prayer’ would stand the test of time itself. Have you ever stood in a circle holding hands with people and reciting this prayer that Jesus taught to his disciples? How many recovered alcoholics and drug addicts have said this prayer? We don’t talk about Jesus much in these meetings but we are following in the footsteps of Jesus when we say this prayer out loud with other brothers and sisters in recovery. Jesus was coaching His disciples how to pray, He gave them exactly what they needed all in one beautiful package. Emmett Fox wrote this about the Lords Prayer.

“The Lords Prayer is the most important of all Christian documents. It was carefully constructed by Jesus with certain very clear ends in view. That is why, of all his teachings, it is by far the best known and the most often quoted.”

I am not going to break down the Lords Prayer, because so many people a lot brighter than I have already done it for us. Try this, write down your prayers in a journal and come back to them on a regular basis. You will find which ones have been answered or not and be able to thank God for the work he has done in your life. You will also be able to see the growth happening in you by the effectiveness of your prayers through time. As soon as you get your own will out of your prayer life and pray for God’s will, the sooner you will see positive change in the effectiveness of your prayers and you will see growth along with it. I did not start journaling until I was about five months sober, when I started I wrote a bunch of random stuff and my prayers were weak. As I disciplined myself to pray and as I truly understood the "Lords Prayer," more and more my prayers became stronger and started to make a difference in my life.

Example

On September, 23 2009 this was my prayer from my journal.

“Lead me Father, show me the way to encourage others that struggle with addiction or who are struggling in their marriage. I hope to share my story and I pray that it might encourage someone else by showing what you have done in my life. Show me the way Lord, I want to serve you. How can my passion for you and my God given abilities serve your purpose? Teach me Lord, you lead the way and I will follow, I want to be more like you Jesus, help me! Encourage me and mold me so that I may do your will." Amen

This was one of my better prayers and it did come from the heart and what came from this conversation with God changed the course of my life forever. Within three months I was more active in the recovery groups at our church. I ordered a 30-hour recovery training class from the AACC and on my one year sobriety date I got a text from one of our pastors and he wanted to talk to me. He asked me if I would be interested in leading the recovery groups at our church. I was kinda freaked out, there were people with a lot more sobriety than me. He told me that God kept revealing my name to him. I went to a Recovery Conference in California got credentialed as a Biblical Counselor and Life Coach. I started a Recovery Coaching practice and wrote this chapter all within a year from this prayer. I can be very prideful at times, but seriously, only God can take a former drunk, an honest prayer and make that happen.

“Prayer and devotion are united as soul and body is united, as life and heart are united. There is no real prayer without devotion, no devotion without prayer.”-E.M. Bounds

 “A satisfying prayer life elevates and purifies every act of body and mind and integrates the entire personality into a single spiritual unit. In the long pull we pray only as well as we live.”- A.W. Tozer

Step Eleven in the “Big Book” also suggests prayer and meditation. In a chapter called, “Into Action.” The suggestion is for nightly reflection where you review resentments, fear, dishonest or selfish behavior that needs Gods forgiveness. The suggestion also talks about how to pray about the "24 hours ahead." We ask God for inspiration throughout the day and then the chapter says, “We usually conclude the period of meditation with prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.” Recovery or not, if everyone took the suggestions about prayer and meditation literally and applied them to their daily life the world would be a better place. This is more than a suggestion, these are biblical principles and without the daily discipline required in this step of obedience there will be little growth in your recovery. Bill W. and Dr. Bob knew that prayer took discipline, they said this about it, “We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.” What outline? The suggestion of prayer in Step Eleven is that outline.

Will you discipline yourself in this way?
The chapter also discusses that many of us have put down prayers that relate to the principles discussed and there are many books out there on this discussion and that we could also check with a priest, minister or rabbi regarding prayer and these principles.
What are the principles that this chapter in the "Big Book" is trying to suggest to us?

There are many biblical principles within the three pages that discuss Step Eleven and I have put them into five strategic concepts for effective prayer in recovery. I also put some of my favorite scripture to support it.
1) Nightly reflection- Do we owe anyone an apology?

"Leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God." Matthew5:24

2) Were we kind and loving to all today?

"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other." John 13:34

3) Ask God to guide our thoughts.

"They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works." Psalm 77:12

4) Ask God to guide our next steps.

"Guide my steps by your word, so I will not be overcome by evil." Psalm 119:133

5) Pray for Gods will (not mine).
"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing." Psalm 143:10

What will you pray about today?
And what will your life look like a year from today?
I hope you are excited to find out.

About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

The HEART of Recovery

The HEART of Recovery

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

How many times have you heard someone say, “you need to be obedient to God?’’ “Obedience is the key to life” I heard a Pastor once say. Obedience in recovery is where the real work begins, it is a journey and growth will happen. We need a starting point. We need a map. And of course we need a destination. Get ready to take a voyage with God. A couple quick questions will help us determine our destination.



Where do I see myself spiritually, emotionally, physically in three months?

In six to nine months?

In a year?

In three to five years?


Make sure you write this down and get ready to set the course. We have a destination. Now it’s time for the map. The following blogs will give scriptural and personal examples of obedience and disobedience how they apply to recovery and God’s will for us. This was groundbreaking stuff for me. Just a couple years earlier God had removed the obsession to drink alcohol from my life, nine months ago I had quit chewing tobacco, and while writing this chapter my wife and I said no more to being controlled by debt. We cut up all credit cards and started implementing baby steps towards our financial freedom according to Dave Ramsey’s book. Let me put it in another way. The king of beers was no longer a priority in my life (smashed). The idol nicotine (destroyed). The almighty dollar and the golden (debt) calf were gone forever in my mind. They did not control me anymore. God was in charge and I was so grateful. I wanted to be obedient to God in every way possible. Above all else, obedience requires heart. In recovery coaching I use the heart check. I use the acrostic H.E.A.R.T. to find out where we our in our journey of recovery. This is where the work begins. If we have a Repentant Heart, have Engaged the Word of God, fixed our Cornerstone in place then we have a solid foundation for God’s Recovery Program. The heart of the work is right here. Its time to put up the walls, one brick at a time, its time to start rebuilding the temple.



H   Honestly search your tent. This work will take you inside & outside of your tent, we will dig deep and see what we have been holding onto that must go.



E   Effective Daily Prayer. This will help us understand Gods will for our life; help us with character flaws, family, love, etc. We will use many examples of how to pray, when to pray and what the difference is between effective and non-effective prayer.



A   Accountability partner. The recovery process will be as healthy as the health of our accountability partners, surround yourself with healthy coaches and you be healthy.


R   Reconciliation & Restitution. Does God want us to make amends? This work will show us the importance of reconciliation.



T   Trusted Tithed & True. What will truly trusting in the Lord do to your heart?


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

One Day at a Time

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

Even if you have never been in recovery you have probably heard it. ‘One day at a time’ I remember when I first heard some happy go lucky people say this to me after I had just walked in the rooms of recovery. What a crock! That’s what I thought. Do these people really believe this? And is it even biblical? Even the ‘Serenity Prayer’ in its entirety says, ‘Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time.’ But how do you do this? We all struggle with this concept at some point until we surrender to God all the way. And yes it is biblical, and it wasn’t easy back then either. When we read Exodus we get a realistic look at how we all struggle with this concept. The Israelites were only free thirty days. They had just gotten a 30-day chip for being free from the bondage of Egyptian slavery. God just did one of the most amazing things they had ever seen in their lives yet they failed to believe that God would continue to do it. Thirty days into it and we get a glimpse of what was going on in the mind of the recently free Israelite.



“If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt,” they moaned. Exodus 16:3


Then God gives Moses an instruction, “Look, I’m going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions.” Exodus 16:4


Christ even included this concept in the Lord’s Prayer when he taught his disciples how to pray. He told them to pray for ‘This day and our daily bread.’ Luke 11:3. That’s just enough food for the day just like during the Exodus. So what do we need in recovery each day? What do we really need? I believe that we need five things in order to survive each day in recovery.



1. We need to stay sober today – What are we going to do today to ensure that we stay sober for today?



2. We need our daily bread – this is everything that we need for ourselves and our family to survive for the day; food, water, a job, shelter etc.



3. Peace – peace of mind 'serenity' no matter what comes our way today.



4. Freedom – freedom from anger, resentments, fear, anxiety and most of all freedom from cravings.



5. We need to stay in step with God – not to far behind or ahead of God, in step is waiting for God to clear the path. He takes a step then we step in His footprint.



You focus on these five things each day and make them a part of your daily prayer life then praise God at the end of the day for providing all of this for you and you will learn to live, ‘one day at a time.’



"So it is with us. When we seek to live upon yesterday’s realization, we are actually seeking to live in the past, and to live in the past is death. The art of life is to live in the present moment, and to make that moment as perfect as we can by the realization that we are the best instrument and expression of God Himself. The best way to prepare for tomorrow is to make today all that it should be.” Emmett Fox


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

RAP - Recovery Accountability Partner

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

“A man of many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

Do you have one, a friend who sticks closer than a brother, an accountability partner? It’s very important to have someone in our life that will guide us back on the track, someone that will hold the rudder straight for us when needed. Someone that will guide us back to the truth. We need each other in recovery, we can’t go it alone. Paul spoke of this principle in Ephesians 4:25, “So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all apart of the same body.”

Jude, the half brother of Jesus also wrote about accountability, “Show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sin that contaminates their lives.” Jude 1:22-23.

The recovery process will be as healthy as the health of our accountability partners, surround yourself with healthy coaches and you will be healthy. Let the Word of God also be your accountability partner. Let David’s stories and Psalms be a testimony of God’s love even when we don’t deserve it. How his repentant heart changed him and how he talked with God is a great example of how we should communicate. Let Solomon be one of your recovery coaches. Let the relationship between Paul and Timothy who are a great example of what coming alongside someone through faith, trust and perseverance looks like. This kind of partnership takes two people on a journey and if God is the third strand it will be very difficult to break this bond.


“The effective mentor strives to help a man or woman discover what they can be in Christ and then holds them accountable to become that person.” - Howard Hendricks

We will never make the progress needed without accountability partners. Going it alone is risky. Get a recovery coach, get a mentor, and find an accountability partner. I have had very few people in my life that I have allowed to do this in my life but I have gotten better at it. When I first got sober I tried to do it on my own, then I had an old timer with almost thirty years of sobriety help get me through my inventory and 5th step. I had another guy help me with my amends. I had someone else from my small group mentor me on Christian leadership. And of course the small group itself is designed for this concept as well. When you share your junk with other people and share your struggles and praises with them something starts to happen. You start to TRUST another human being.

If you don’t have someone in your life that you allow to hold you accountable I encourage you to get one. I have a couple helpful questions you can ask yourself and God to show you.

1. What do I need to work on in my life?

2. Is there anyone who I respect enough to ask to be my accountability partner?

3. Is there anything holding me back from starting an accountability relationship today?

4. God, give me the wisdom to know what I need to be held accountable for in my life, and give me the courage to invite _____________ into my life to come alongside of me and hold me accountable to your standards.


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Believe in Recovery

Believe in Recovery

By Bill A. Gaspard, Certified Christian Life Coach & Biblical Counselor

Then Jesus said to the Roman officer, “Go back home. Because you believed, it has happened.” And the young servant was healed that same hour.” Matthew 8:13



Trusting God sounds easy. Right! It’s all over our money, ‘In God We Trust,’ yet it seems that we put our trust in so many other things. I know for years I put my trust in ‘The Almighty Dollar” and good hard work ethic. That was all I needed.


Trust is the confidence and hope of what we believe.


What do you believe?

Do you believe that you are recovered from a hopeless state of mind?

Or do you believe that you will relapse someday?


Dwight Bain wrote a book called Destination Success, and in it he has a simple equation. B=B or Belief = Behavior. In fact he calls it Secret #5 in the Success Formula and that belief is your hidden source of inner strength. Your belief in God will bring you comfort during any experience of life. Dwight goes on to say, “When you and I decide to live exactly like we believe, we have a vast source of hidden power.”


So, what do you believe?

“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5


I believe that I will never take a drink of alcohol again as long as I have God leading me all the way.


I believe that I am a new creation and that Jesus gave His life for me so that I may live.


I believe that I am in recovery until the day I leave this flesh body so I trust God, I clean house, and I work with others until that day.


Here is how the belief formula works according to Bain


If you believe it you live it.



I believe I can make a difference = I work hard


I believe in the value of people = I treat others with respect


I believe body care is important = I eat, sleep, and exercise well


I believe God is a important part of my life = I worship regularly


I believe I am a person of great worth = I value my life and manage it wisely


I believe that God gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall receive eternal life = I Believe I Receive



Trusting God in recovery is big, and if we believe that God will take care of us then we will start to behave in the same way. If this formula works and you believe that you may drink again, you may drug again, you might look at porn again. Guess what? You will! Belief = Behavior

Take some time and write down what you believe right now. Things that you absolutely believe in your heart to be true. Then right down the behavior that you should be living next to that belief.
If you are in recovery do the same thing. Be specific. What do you believe about your recovery? Now share this information with your sponsor or accountability partner. Don’t trust yourself, trust God and believe. Show me your behavior and I will show you what you believe.
Thanks Coach Dwight!

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” Mark 9:23


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/
Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Idol Worshiper

It’s amazing how God works when we are even slightly paying attention. I was in the middle of writing a paper while working on becoming a Recovery Chaplain. I was facilitating a small group at our church with curriculum created by Andy Stanley called “It Came From Within.” Had just started reading Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover and reading a book by Edward T. Welch Addictions-A Banquet in the Grave, when I had some kind of crazy revelation. I was an Idol Worshiper! Worse. I had been doing it all my life. The bible is full of these stories and examples. There are idol worshipers, idol smashers, and re builders. Time and time again, story after story. I had a heart problem. I was writing a book about recovery coaching and found Edward T. Welch and The Old Testament coaching me. The parts that made the most impact to me in Edward's book was the sections on idolatry, adultery, and building walls of protection for our recovery. He goes as far to call addiction a “Worship Disorder.” And I was on a journey of the heart. We are all in recovery from something. When you read the story of Achan in Joshua it is just plain disobedience. Think about where you are at in your own journey and what idols you are still holding on to and lets high-five the ones that you have already smashed. We are going on an idol smashing rampage!


Ever heard of Achan? Probably not, read Joshua 7:16-26 then come back to this blog. Now read it again and put your name where Achan’s is, replace the robe, the coins and the bar of gold with the things that are controlling your life, ruining your life. Maybe you have been clean for a while from any substance and you need to replace it with anger, guilt, worry or any other emotion that is hidden in your tent. Not the greatest ending to a biblical story is it? Achan wanted this stuff so bad that he did not care if it hurt everyone around him. He hid these things deep under his tent. Joshua asks him, “Why have you brought trouble on us?” The Israelites found out about this, stoned Achan and his entire family, burned their bodies and piled a heap of rocks on them. They even called that place “Valley of Trouble” The end. Ouch! You ever been there, the valley of trouble? When you want something so bad that you could care less if your entire family would be killed over it. Its drastic I know, but that is what Edward T. Welch is saying about addictions. Did I want my family to die? No, but when I drank alcohol that is exactly what happened to my relationship with my wife, my kids and it blocked me from the love of God for years. God still loved me, but the idol was in the way. We can’t serve two masters. I wonder how long I would have lasted in the Old Testament days. Just one touch, one taste, need more need more. Pow! French fried human being. I would be on the 6 o clock news, another one bites the dust. Thank God for the gift of Jesus Christ and stories like this, that speaks to my heart.

By: Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach
For more information on Christian Recovery Coaching visit
http://www.christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Honestly Search Your Tent

“As for you Solomon my son, know the God of your father, and serve him with a whole heart and willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands the intentions of every thought.”
1 Chronicles 28:9

Honestly searching your tent means we are going deep, the place where Achan hid his stuff in Joshua 7:16. It was underneath his tent in the ground and his heart was there with it. That is where we are going, we are the tent today and our heart is the soil that Christ referred to in Luke 8:15. How is your soil? What has been hiding deep in it? Sometimes in recovery we here phrases like “moral inventory” or “searching fearlessly.” Whatever you want to call it, it really doesn’t matter to me as long as you know where we are going to search. We are going on a journey of the heart and we will find treasure worth keeping and we will find unusable junk. If you do not have a Christian brother or sister, mentor/sponsor by this point I recommend that you find one. Pray to God that he will send you a person that will guide you through this part of your journey. God wants to recover you so believe me when I say this, He will send you your guide. As a business man I had to do inventory monthly for many reasons, every single month we would count thousands of dollars worth of product. When we got to the food and beverage part of our inventory without question we would find something that needed to be thrown out. It was rotten, spoiled and of no use and should never be served to anyone again. We are no different. We have stuff that should have been thrown out years ago. Keeping bad product on the shelf makes everything a bit stinky in the tent. Searching your tent is really just taking inventory of what we got. The good and the bad! Don’t just search for all the bad stuff, there is so much usable product in your heart, God knows where. Let’s use it, God will, if you let Him.

If you are truly willing to search every ‘nook and cranny’ of your heart then you will need a light. This light will help you in those dark places that you will be digging around in. Christ is that light, the only light that can search this way.
 
“Search me, o God and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalms 139:23
 
By: Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach
http://www.christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Engage The Word of God!

Have you ever been proposed to or proposed to someone? Remember that feeling of making a commitment to someone else? Maybe it was an oath or a pledge as a young man or woman. Or like me at seventeen years old when I said this “I William Gaspard do solemnly swear that I will defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to the regulations and the uniform code of military justice. So help me God.” When I joined the Marine Corps they shared with me three core values.
Honor

Courage

Commitment

I would love to tell you that I lived those values in my life since the day I took that oath, but we all know better than that. The value I want to challenge you with is engage or commitment. The Marine Corps says, that "Commitment is the spirit of determination and dedication found in motive. It leads to the highest order of discipline for individuals and units. It is the ingredient that enables 24 hour a day dedication to Corps and Country. It inspires the unrelenting dedication to achieve a standard of excellence in every endeavor." That is my prayer for all who are at this step in the journey to recover. If you have a repentant heart then you are ready to engage the Word of God.

In the 1st chapter of Joshua, God speaks to him and says three times be strong and courageous. Why three times? Was he worried? Maybe God just wanted to make sure Joshua got it. God also tells Joshua “Study this book of instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” Joshua 1:8 -The Word of God is one of the most powerful things in the universe and when you engage it the way God explains to Joshua it will change your life. Do you want results? Do you want to succeed in all that you do? Engage the Word of God and you will. God says so. God spoke light into the world, he spoke the heavens and the earth into being and he breathed a soul into mans nostrils. The Word of God has been called living water and the sword of the spirit among many other things. “The word was with God and the word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through Him, and nothing was created except through him. The word gave life to everything that was created, and brought light to everyone.” John 1:1-4

By: Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach, BCBC

For more information on recovery coaching visit our website
http:/billagaspard.com/

Christ-Our Cornerstone

Peter and John caused a little trouble for themselves one day speaking to the people, there were 3000 believers at this time during the Acts of the Apostles. Peter had just healed a crippled beggar and some of the high priests and Sadducees wanted an explanation of this healing. We pick it up in Acts 4: When they asked Peter & John, “By what power or what name did you do this?’’ Then Peter filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: “Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. He is the stone you builders rejected, has now become the cornerstone."

This part about the cornerstone that Peter is talking about was an Old Testament prophesy in Psalm 118:22. Isaiah says this, “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed.” Isaiah 28:16 This is foundational work we are talking about here and as your Recovery Coach I want you to get this, I pray you get it. At the core of your being! If Christ is the Cornerstone of our foundation then reconciliation with God is our goal. God doesn’t force us to come home; he just patiently waits for us to get there. This is the hope and faith written about in Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we can’t see.” There is a solution. In step two of the 12 steps we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity and then in step three we made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God. The “Big Book of AA” refers to a man who Tumbled out of bed fell to his knees and felt overwhelmed by a conviction of the presence of God.” He stood in the presence of infinite power and love, “thus, was our friends cornerstone fixed in place. Pg 56 AA. A few pages later it says “This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next we decided that hereafter in the drama of life; God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are his agents. He is the Father, and we are his children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.” Big Book, AA pg 62. I honestly do not spend much time in the big book or at secular recovery meetings but I respect the 12 steps from a biblical perspective and believe that the values of the 1st three steps (honesty, hope, faith) built by the foundational work by insuring that our Cornerstone (Christ) and our Keystone (God) is properly in place will tell us if our building of recovery will crumble or stand.

The right foundation is the solution: Paul writes, “But now God has shown us a way to be made right with Him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ, and this is true for everyone who believes no matter who we are. For everyone sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God with undeserved kindness declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty of our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin.” Romans 3:21-25 This portion of scripture sets the foundation, gives us a clear solution and explains why Jesus died on the cross. If we have a Repentant Heart, have Engaged the Word of God. Have been honest about what we have done when we were in charge of our life, then we are ready to fix the Cornerstone of our new building in place. We are setting the foundation of recovery. We are the building and we house the Holy Spirit, He lives in us. There is much work to do; we must rebuild the temple of God for God. Working the first three steps of recovery is crucial to your foundation, work with someone who has a solid foundation. A solid sponsor, accountability partner, or life recovery coach can help you get the results you are looking for.

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

For mor information on Recovery Coaching visit our website at http://www.christianrecoverycoaching.com/ or email me at billa.gaspard@live.com

Walk the Plank to Forgiveness

Christ said it best in Matthew 7:3-5 “ Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out your own eye, and you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
As a Christian Life Coach I use this principle of forgiveness in helping others with the below acrostic P.L.A.N.K. To find out where I am and where the individual is in his or her journey with forgiveness. This is a searching of the heart exercise; remember that when you write these down make sure they are put in a place where no one who could be hurt by what is written will be able to find this work.

Walk the Plank of Forgiveness


Past Experiences- What past experiences are you still holding on to? The deep ones, the things that no one else knows about, the “take it to your grave stuff.” Write them down, get them on paper. Confess them to God and to another individual you trust. An accountability partner, mentor, pastor, life coach, or counselor.

Lies- What lies have you lived or are currently living? Is there any lie that you know in your heart you must make right? Write these down, try and recall all of the lies that have not been given to God.


Anger & Resentment- Who do you currently have anger or resentment towards? Who do you resent? Who do you hate? Who makes you so angry just saying their name makes you upset? Someone or something that is out there can hold you bondage and by not forgiving it holds them in bondage as well. Make another list. Now set a time. How long are you going to let this person, this circumstance, continue to be the director for your story? This is big stuff, I know. You got to confess this and it will lose its power over you.

Nails- Remember the nails that went into the body of Christ? Good. That was the price that He paid for us, for our forgiveness. Christ tells us to remove the plank in our own eye. Not a speck, a big ole hunk of wood that we can’t see. We can’t get it out without help. This is surgery, spiritual surgery, only God can do that kind of surgery.

Kneel & Pray- The idea of kneeling and praying to God with a list like this is literally walking the plank. We don’t know what will happen next, there is fear, sharks maybe. We bring our past experiences that hold us back to what God intended. We bring our lies, our deceit, our hurts that we have done to others and the broken promises. We bring our anger and resentment, all of it. We remember the price that Christ paid for our forgiveness and we drop to our knees in submission and give it up. Right here. Right now. I surrender everything to your control. Perform spiritual surgery on me Lord. Remove the PLANK from my eye, from my heart. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. In Jesus precious name AMEN.

Remember to walk the plank whenever needed.


By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

At Recovery & Restoration Ministries we have many helpful tools that will guide you on your journey through recovery. If you would like more information about having a Christian Life Coach to walk alongside of you email us or visit our website.

christianrecoverycoaching@live.com

www.christianrecoverycoaching.com

Recovery and Repentance

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgression, wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.” Psalm 51:1-2 This is the start of one of my favorite Psalms. King David was confronted by the prophet Nathan after he had committed adultery with Bathsheba. Nathan was like an accountability partner or recovery coach sent by God to walk alongside the king. David was the king and no one questions the king. Have you ever gotten defensive with someone questioning your integrity or actions? I know I have, I had blinders and ear plugs in for so long it hurt everyone around me. I was king and no one was going to question how I ran my kingdom. Oh how foolish I was, if only I had a Nathan in my life and if only I would have listened when he did question me. Repentance is the 1st key to having God recover you. Not remorse, not feeling bad, but a true from the heart repentance. Like David prayed in this 51st Psalm.
“For I was born a sinner, yes from the moment my mother conceived me, but you desire honesty from the womb, teaching me wisdom even there." Psalm 51:5-5 If we do not admit or repent of our sins we will be burdened by guilt, shame and we will have no joy. If we learn to do this on a regular basis either by having a Nathan in our life or by a searching inventory of our past sins we will struggle to grow. We can’t go to the altar and talk to God unless we have been made clean. David goes on to pray.
“Purify me from my sins and I will be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow." Psalm 51:7 When was the last time you spoke to God like this? The last time you poured out your heart to the one who made it? To repent is to completely turn in the opposite direction, to do a 180 degree turn and go a new way. Lord, remove the obsession to drink, to drug, to lust, to get angry with sin. True repentance means the next time I do what I don’t want to do it hurts me so much because I know that it does not please God. Repentance is not doing what the king wants to do, saying a little prayer then doing what the king wants to do again tomorrow. Repentance is learning to do what the King of Kings and Lord of Lords would do in this situation. “You do not desire a sacrifice or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart O God”. Psalm 51:16-17 Jesus taught that “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4. God is not looking for how we try, He wants us to mourn over our sins and admit our brokenness. Then He will not ignore our needs but will forgive us, comfort us and cleanse us. Once we are clean we are ready for a relationship. We are ready to continue the journey to be recovered by God.


By: Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach