Anger Awareness

by: Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach~



"And don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives foothold to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27


Did you know that anger is mentioned in the bible over five hundred times? The first time we see anger is in Genesis, when we see a brother kill his own brother over jealousy, which turned to anger and finally to sin. The emotion of anger has been running rampant ever since. We pick it up in Genesis 4:6, God says, "Why are you so angry? The Lord asked Cain, why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master."


I have personally struggled with an explosive temper most of my life and usually this God-given emotion was hidden deep by the power of alcohol. It was during moments of intoxication when it was most likely to rear its ugly head. It was during these moments when I would allow my anger to turn to sin not really caring about the damage I was causing my loved ones. I have been clean for a while now, yet the emotions, especially anger, still get the best of me. Alcohol became such a part of who I was, almost like an extra appendage that I relied on in order to function. The only emotion I felt was towards alcohol, angry desperation if I didn't have it and overwhelming depression when I woke up the next morning in a somewhat inebriated fog knowing I had to face work and life that day. The cycle continued daily and the fog never lifted. I was emotionally unavailable to my family and I lacked in leadership at work. I hung on by the thread that was holding my life together, barely. Anger is definitely a God-given emotion that if taken too far will hurt everyone in its path. You probably have heard someone say, ‘anger is not the problem it's how you react to it.' If you have ever been in a recovery meeting then you may also have heard, ‘resentment is the number one offender of relapse.' Resentment is anger that has turned sour by something or someone. We have allowed it to rot in our mind and it has spoiled an emotion that was meant to protect us.


I remember one night in a small group bible study when the subject of anger came up and I explained that I was a hot head sometimes. This guy started talking about anger, and was looking right at me. No, he was preaching at me, and I didn't like it. He was babbling on about some guys in the bible, but my anger and pride in that moment was blocking me from hearing the message that God may possibly have been trying to share with me. I had emotionally shut down and went home ticked off at this guy. Who was this guy anyway and what gives him the right to preach at me? I came home and complained to my wife about the night. I said, "What the heck is he talking about, Sons of Thunder, sailors, and Jesus?" She said, "I'm not sure, but it was meant for your ears."


A few days later I began an in-depth study on anger, I dived into Gods Word, reading as many scripture verses I could find. I also bought the Anger Workbook and started going through that as well. I came to a profile page in the Life Recovery Bible and read this;

James & John

"Sons of Thunder: Why would Jesus use such a powerful description for two Galilean fisherman, James & John? We are given a glimpse of their fiery personalities when, after they were rejected by the people of a Samaritan village, James & John asked Jesus if they should call down fire from heaven to consume the village. Jesus rebuked them for their impulse to retaliate. Jesus worked in these brothers' lives so that they became men known for their love and forgiveness, not their anger and revenge. These brothers had discovered the important truth that when we understand and experience God's love, we are free to live and grow. And as we grow and share our discovery with others, God can use us to touch the lives of many in need of His help and healing." Stephen Arterburn & David Stoop




Wow! God works in amazing ways. I wanted God to work in me like Christ worked in these two sailors. I was a former Marine and I could relate to some salty dogs like James and John. Maybe the Holy Spirit could change me too. I too had been known to want to bring fire down on entire cities with my rage. I realized that God had used the guy from my small group to make me aware of my anger. My wife was right, it was meant for my ears. Now that I was aware, I began to slowly change and I allowed the Holy Spirit to start working in my heart. As I became more aware of my anger, I started journaling my thoughts about it. I talked about it more in small group and have come to love that guy who really wasn't preaching at me, he was really loving me and holding me accountable. But, I still struggled with the whole ‘angry with sin.' What did that really mean anyways? Then it hit me, ‘don't let anger control you.' That was the sin! When I drank alcohol I sinned against everyone, especially God, because I allowed it to control me. Drinking an alcoholic beverage is not a sin, just like the emotion of anger is not a sin. It is how we use, or my case, abuse it that it can become a sin.


Today I get to share my experience with others and work one-on-one with people in this area of Recovery Coaching. I share my experience, my struggles and together we try and understand how to tame the beast through awareness, honesty, renewing of the heart and mind, and by using the QSS method.



"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19



When do you let anger get control of you?




How long does it take to cool off?



Are you being completely honest about what really makes you lose control of my anger?



Do you have someone you can share with about this God-given emotion that you struggle with?



How can you use the QSS method next time you feel this emotion start to come your way?


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Know Your Enemy (The Wolf)

by: Bill A. Gaspard, Recovery Coach

In John 10 Jesus gives us another analogy of the enemy. He discusses the sheep, the shepherd, the gate, and of course the enemy; a wolf who wants to steal kill and destroy. The wolves’ method of operation is to attack and “Scatter the flock.” John 10:12

That is precisely what the enemy wants to do with us, get us separated from the rest of the flock, isolated and alone, so he can have his way with us. He wants to steal our hope, kill our faith and destroy any healthy relationship we may be in the process of starting. He does not want anyone in recovery to join the team, to join the flock, or to have a sponsor or accountability partner. Of course, the wolf wants us as far away from the shepherd as humanly possible, and the wolf is not about to go head to head with the shepherd, because he has already lost that battle. He is after the flock, Gods children and he just wants us off by ourselves when we are vulnerable, tired and weak. Do not go it alone, get into the flock and let the shepherd, God, fight for you. Just like in the movie Gladiator, when Maximus is in the coliseum, he looked to the others and said, “Have any of you been in the military?” Then he said, “We will have a better chance fighting whatever comes out of those gates if we stay together.” Again, DO NOT go it alone and don’t let anyone who walks in the doors of recovery ever believe that they can. The wolf is an expert at separating us from the flock and robbing us of everything we have accomplished in our recovery.


“Stay close to the shepherd, the shepherd’s purpose is to give his sheep a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10


“The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep” 10:11


If you feel like the enemy is isolating you from your family and if you’ve been backing away from the groups or meetings that have helped you stay on track throughout your recovery, then hit your knees right now and pray to the shepherd that He protect you and that He help you safely back to the flock!


Here are some questions for us to find out if we are slowly being scattered.


1. When was the last time you were together with your brothers and sisters in recovery?

2. When was the last time you asked the shepherd to protect you?

3. When was the last time you talked to your sponsor/accountability partner?

4. When was the last time you helped a lost sheep in isolation?



About the author: Chaplain Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the Founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

Know Your Enemy (The Lion)

By Chaplain Bill A. Gaspard

“Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

1 Peter 5:8-9

Think about the nature of a lion for a moment. Did you know that it is the lioness that actually does the attacking of prey? What about the male lion? What is his job? You would think that the “king of the jungle” would be in charge of the attack, but actually he is in charge of immobilizing the prey with fear, and all it takes is one loud roar. I have been told that the loud roar of a lion will echo across the Serengeti, and that the herds of antelope or zebra will hear the roar and either run or freeze in fear. This is the goal of the lion, to fill the prey with intense fear which results in confusion, causing the prey to either freeze, allowing the waiting lionesses to easily attack and devour it, or the prey will run away from the sound of the roar directly towards the waiting lionesses. This was the pride’s plan all along, for the prey to run right into their expertly planned trap. Have you ever felt immobilized by fear? Has Satan ever whispered, or in some cases roared in your ears, lies that are so convincing they keep you frozen in fear or cause you to run as far away from what God may be asking you to do? Have you felt that overwhelming confusion that clouds your mind from making even the simplest of decisions? This is Satan’s plan for your life, to keep you rooted in fear and confusion and immobilized from taking action towards thing that would be pleasing to God. Think back to the herd. What if the herd of gazelle or zebra stood firm as a group and ran toward the roar of the lion, towards the cause of their fear? The male lion is a much slower, less effective foe. The odds that the gazelle or zebra could win and get away from the male lion are good, due to their speed and agility, not to mention the fact that together, as a group, they outnumber the lion. The lion would have no choice but to retreat and try again another day, because there will always be another day. How we choose to face the day, the day that the Lord has given us, is really the big question. Do we stay rooted in our fear or do we run towards it, confident that together with Gods’ love and by surrounding ourselves with the right group (or herd) of people, we can conquer even the toughest fears? How can we run towards our fear when it comes to our recovery?

Let’s take a biblical story and put this concept to work. Goliath was a male lion if there ever was one. He roared towards the Israelite army and they ran back to camp. Goliath says, “Am I a dog; he roared at David, that you come at me.” You know the story, picture Goliath roaring and no one has the faith to run towards the roar, instead they run away in fear. Then young David tells Saul not to fear, that God has got this one and that the giant is as good as dead. “As Goliath moved closer to attack, David quickly ran out to meet him. Reached into his shepherds’ bag and taking out a stone, he hurled it with his sling and hit the Philistine in the forehead.” 1 Samuel 18:8-9. David is the epitome of standing strong in one’s faith. Don’t you want some of that, to have enough faith to know that you can run towards the ‘giant’ in your life and conquer it with even the smallest of stones? What does Matthew 17:20 tell us about faith, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Go back to 1 Peter 5:9 and remember how Peter says to fight the lion. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. If the gazelle or zebra runs towards the male lion it gets past and gets away, if it runs in the opposite direction it gets caught. David stood firm and had the faith to run out to this giant ‘lion’ of a man. Satan is responsible for the evil that happens to us in all areas of our lives and in our recovery and he will kick you when you are down. This happens when we allow fear to overcome us, the inadequacies we feel about ourselves to take root, instead of allowing God’s truth to take root and develop us to be all that he designed us to be. We are commanded to be careful and stand firm against the enemy. To fight each day our own personal ‘lion’ and win!! We are not alone; there are others in recovery fighting these same battles. Meeting with them and sharing our defeats and our victories with the lions of the world will not only strengthen our herd, but could help another who may feel stranded and immobilized in fear. This is when we, as fellow fighters in faith, can surround and protect those being attacked with encouragement and hope through Gods’ Word. Just like the hope that David’s story gives us.

About the author: Chaplain Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.