Effective Prayer in Recovery

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach


Effectively talking with God can seem intimidating to some. It takes heart, obedience and discipline. We are working out a muscle that we haven’t used very often and it will take some time to get it in shape. My favorite definition for the word discipline is “control gained by obedience or training.” We all want to control something, but in prayer the discipline we are talking about is the giving up control to our heavenly father in prayer. It may seem hard to look at prayer as obedience or discipline, but it is necessary. In the book of Luke one of the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray.


“Once, Jesus was in a certain place praying. As he finished, one of his disciples came to him and said, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”

Jesus said, “This is how you should pray:

“Father, may your name be kept holy.


May your Kingdom come soon.


Give us each day the food we need,


and forgive us our sins,


as we forgive those who sin against us.


And don’t let us yield to temptation.” Luke1:1-4

These are the same group of guys who had been hanging out with Jesus for years. These guys probably knew how to pray and were taught by their parents. Yet, they knew that the way Jesus prayed was different and they wanted to learn. I believe Jesus waited for this day; He knew what he would say and knew that this prayer ‘The Lords Prayer’ would stand the test of time itself. Have you ever stood in a circle holding hands with people and reciting this prayer that Jesus taught to his disciples? How many recovered alcoholics and drug addicts have said this prayer? We don’t talk about Jesus much in these meetings but we are following in the footsteps of Jesus when we say this prayer out loud with other brothers and sisters in recovery. Jesus was coaching His disciples how to pray, He gave them exactly what they needed all in one beautiful package. Emmett Fox wrote this about the Lords Prayer.

“The Lords Prayer is the most important of all Christian documents. It was carefully constructed by Jesus with certain very clear ends in view. That is why, of all his teachings, it is by far the best known and the most often quoted.”

I am not going to break down the Lords Prayer, because so many people a lot brighter than I have already done it for us. Try this, write down your prayers in a journal and come back to them on a regular basis. You will find which ones have been answered or not and be able to thank God for the work he has done in your life. You will also be able to see the growth happening in you by the effectiveness of your prayers through time. As soon as you get your own will out of your prayer life and pray for God’s will, the sooner you will see positive change in the effectiveness of your prayers and you will see growth along with it. I did not start journaling until I was about five months sober, when I started I wrote a bunch of random stuff and my prayers were weak. As I disciplined myself to pray and as I truly understood the "Lords Prayer," more and more my prayers became stronger and started to make a difference in my life.

Example

On September, 23 2009 this was my prayer from my journal.

“Lead me Father, show me the way to encourage others that struggle with addiction or who are struggling in their marriage. I hope to share my story and I pray that it might encourage someone else by showing what you have done in my life. Show me the way Lord, I want to serve you. How can my passion for you and my God given abilities serve your purpose? Teach me Lord, you lead the way and I will follow, I want to be more like you Jesus, help me! Encourage me and mold me so that I may do your will." Amen

This was one of my better prayers and it did come from the heart and what came from this conversation with God changed the course of my life forever. Within three months I was more active in the recovery groups at our church. I ordered a 30-hour recovery training class from the AACC and on my one year sobriety date I got a text from one of our pastors and he wanted to talk to me. He asked me if I would be interested in leading the recovery groups at our church. I was kinda freaked out, there were people with a lot more sobriety than me. He told me that God kept revealing my name to him. I went to a Recovery Conference in California got credentialed as a Biblical Counselor and Life Coach. I started a Recovery Coaching practice and wrote this chapter all within a year from this prayer. I can be very prideful at times, but seriously, only God can take a former drunk, an honest prayer and make that happen.

“Prayer and devotion are united as soul and body is united, as life and heart are united. There is no real prayer without devotion, no devotion without prayer.”-E.M. Bounds

 “A satisfying prayer life elevates and purifies every act of body and mind and integrates the entire personality into a single spiritual unit. In the long pull we pray only as well as we live.”- A.W. Tozer

Step Eleven in the “Big Book” also suggests prayer and meditation. In a chapter called, “Into Action.” The suggestion is for nightly reflection where you review resentments, fear, dishonest or selfish behavior that needs Gods forgiveness. The suggestion also talks about how to pray about the "24 hours ahead." We ask God for inspiration throughout the day and then the chapter says, “We usually conclude the period of meditation with prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.” Recovery or not, if everyone took the suggestions about prayer and meditation literally and applied them to their daily life the world would be a better place. This is more than a suggestion, these are biblical principles and without the daily discipline required in this step of obedience there will be little growth in your recovery. Bill W. and Dr. Bob knew that prayer took discipline, they said this about it, “We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.” What outline? The suggestion of prayer in Step Eleven is that outline.

Will you discipline yourself in this way?
The chapter also discusses that many of us have put down prayers that relate to the principles discussed and there are many books out there on this discussion and that we could also check with a priest, minister or rabbi regarding prayer and these principles.
What are the principles that this chapter in the "Big Book" is trying to suggest to us?

There are many biblical principles within the three pages that discuss Step Eleven and I have put them into five strategic concepts for effective prayer in recovery. I also put some of my favorite scripture to support it.
1) Nightly reflection- Do we owe anyone an apology?

"Leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God." Matthew5:24

2) Were we kind and loving to all today?

"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other." John 13:34

3) Ask God to guide our thoughts.

"They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works." Psalm 77:12

4) Ask God to guide our next steps.

"Guide my steps by your word, so I will not be overcome by evil." Psalm 119:133

5) Pray for Gods will (not mine).
"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing." Psalm 143:10

What will you pray about today?
And what will your life look like a year from today?
I hope you are excited to find out.

About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com

Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

The HEART of Recovery

The HEART of Recovery

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

How many times have you heard someone say, “you need to be obedient to God?’’ “Obedience is the key to life” I heard a Pastor once say. Obedience in recovery is where the real work begins, it is a journey and growth will happen. We need a starting point. We need a map. And of course we need a destination. Get ready to take a voyage with God. A couple quick questions will help us determine our destination.



Where do I see myself spiritually, emotionally, physically in three months?

In six to nine months?

In a year?

In three to five years?


Make sure you write this down and get ready to set the course. We have a destination. Now it’s time for the map. The following blogs will give scriptural and personal examples of obedience and disobedience how they apply to recovery and God’s will for us. This was groundbreaking stuff for me. Just a couple years earlier God had removed the obsession to drink alcohol from my life, nine months ago I had quit chewing tobacco, and while writing this chapter my wife and I said no more to being controlled by debt. We cut up all credit cards and started implementing baby steps towards our financial freedom according to Dave Ramsey’s book. Let me put it in another way. The king of beers was no longer a priority in my life (smashed). The idol nicotine (destroyed). The almighty dollar and the golden (debt) calf were gone forever in my mind. They did not control me anymore. God was in charge and I was so grateful. I wanted to be obedient to God in every way possible. Above all else, obedience requires heart. In recovery coaching I use the heart check. I use the acrostic H.E.A.R.T. to find out where we our in our journey of recovery. This is where the work begins. If we have a Repentant Heart, have Engaged the Word of God, fixed our Cornerstone in place then we have a solid foundation for God’s Recovery Program. The heart of the work is right here. Its time to put up the walls, one brick at a time, its time to start rebuilding the temple.



H   Honestly search your tent. This work will take you inside & outside of your tent, we will dig deep and see what we have been holding onto that must go.



E   Effective Daily Prayer. This will help us understand Gods will for our life; help us with character flaws, family, love, etc. We will use many examples of how to pray, when to pray and what the difference is between effective and non-effective prayer.



A   Accountability partner. The recovery process will be as healthy as the health of our accountability partners, surround yourself with healthy coaches and you be healthy.


R   Reconciliation & Restitution. Does God want us to make amends? This work will show us the importance of reconciliation.



T   Trusted Tithed & True. What will truly trusting in the Lord do to your heart?


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

One Day at a Time

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

Even if you have never been in recovery you have probably heard it. ‘One day at a time’ I remember when I first heard some happy go lucky people say this to me after I had just walked in the rooms of recovery. What a crock! That’s what I thought. Do these people really believe this? And is it even biblical? Even the ‘Serenity Prayer’ in its entirety says, ‘Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time.’ But how do you do this? We all struggle with this concept at some point until we surrender to God all the way. And yes it is biblical, and it wasn’t easy back then either. When we read Exodus we get a realistic look at how we all struggle with this concept. The Israelites were only free thirty days. They had just gotten a 30-day chip for being free from the bondage of Egyptian slavery. God just did one of the most amazing things they had ever seen in their lives yet they failed to believe that God would continue to do it. Thirty days into it and we get a glimpse of what was going on in the mind of the recently free Israelite.



“If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt,” they moaned. Exodus 16:3


Then God gives Moses an instruction, “Look, I’m going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions.” Exodus 16:4


Christ even included this concept in the Lord’s Prayer when he taught his disciples how to pray. He told them to pray for ‘This day and our daily bread.’ Luke 11:3. That’s just enough food for the day just like during the Exodus. So what do we need in recovery each day? What do we really need? I believe that we need five things in order to survive each day in recovery.



1. We need to stay sober today – What are we going to do today to ensure that we stay sober for today?



2. We need our daily bread – this is everything that we need for ourselves and our family to survive for the day; food, water, a job, shelter etc.



3. Peace – peace of mind 'serenity' no matter what comes our way today.



4. Freedom – freedom from anger, resentments, fear, anxiety and most of all freedom from cravings.



5. We need to stay in step with God – not to far behind or ahead of God, in step is waiting for God to clear the path. He takes a step then we step in His footprint.



You focus on these five things each day and make them a part of your daily prayer life then praise God at the end of the day for providing all of this for you and you will learn to live, ‘one day at a time.’



"So it is with us. When we seek to live upon yesterday’s realization, we are actually seeking to live in the past, and to live in the past is death. The art of life is to live in the present moment, and to make that moment as perfect as we can by the realization that we are the best instrument and expression of God Himself. The best way to prepare for tomorrow is to make today all that it should be.” Emmett Fox


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.

RAP - Recovery Accountability Partner

By Bill A. Gaspard, Life Recovery Coach

“A man of many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

Do you have one, a friend who sticks closer than a brother, an accountability partner? It’s very important to have someone in our life that will guide us back on the track, someone that will hold the rudder straight for us when needed. Someone that will guide us back to the truth. We need each other in recovery, we can’t go it alone. Paul spoke of this principle in Ephesians 4:25, “So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all apart of the same body.”

Jude, the half brother of Jesus also wrote about accountability, “Show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sin that contaminates their lives.” Jude 1:22-23.

The recovery process will be as healthy as the health of our accountability partners, surround yourself with healthy coaches and you will be healthy. Let the Word of God also be your accountability partner. Let David’s stories and Psalms be a testimony of God’s love even when we don’t deserve it. How his repentant heart changed him and how he talked with God is a great example of how we should communicate. Let Solomon be one of your recovery coaches. Let the relationship between Paul and Timothy who are a great example of what coming alongside someone through faith, trust and perseverance looks like. This kind of partnership takes two people on a journey and if God is the third strand it will be very difficult to break this bond.


“The effective mentor strives to help a man or woman discover what they can be in Christ and then holds them accountable to become that person.” - Howard Hendricks

We will never make the progress needed without accountability partners. Going it alone is risky. Get a recovery coach, get a mentor, and find an accountability partner. I have had very few people in my life that I have allowed to do this in my life but I have gotten better at it. When I first got sober I tried to do it on my own, then I had an old timer with almost thirty years of sobriety help get me through my inventory and 5th step. I had another guy help me with my amends. I had someone else from my small group mentor me on Christian leadership. And of course the small group itself is designed for this concept as well. When you share your junk with other people and share your struggles and praises with them something starts to happen. You start to TRUST another human being.

If you don’t have someone in your life that you allow to hold you accountable I encourage you to get one. I have a couple helpful questions you can ask yourself and God to show you.

1. What do I need to work on in my life?

2. Is there anyone who I respect enough to ask to be my accountability partner?

3. Is there anything holding me back from starting an accountability relationship today?

4. God, give me the wisdom to know what I need to be held accountable for in my life, and give me the courage to invite _____________ into my life to come alongside of me and hold me accountable to your standards.


About the author: Bill A. Gaspard is a Certified Christian Life Coach and Biblical Counselor, dedicated to helping God RECOVER His children through relapse prevention coaching. He is the founder of Christian Recovery Coaching- http://christianrecoverycoaching.com/


Recovery Coaching is one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse and get results in your life. A Christian Life Recovery Coach will come along side you to help you find your purpose and passion in life. We partner with our clients to unlock their God given talents and motivate them towards Christian leadership.